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**excuse the length, as a poli sci student, im used to writing extraordinarily long essays.

If you’ve ever been in love, I’m sure we could all come up to a general consensus that love fucks with your head. We make some pretty messed up concessions, we get mad at some pretty stupid shit, we let go of maybe too much of ourselves— all because some stupid kid waltzes in, and we let the oxytocin get to our head and it messes with the part of our head that allows us to rationalize.

So, here are some menial, common sense things I have learned about relationships from my own experience and from listening to others. ** This isn’t my attempt at a magic formula to a lasting and happy relationship, nor is it a generalization on all couples because afterall, everyone is different and different things work for different people. **

I’m a rather simplistic person. I don’t thrive on complication. So maybe my view is a little bit biased here, but I believe that the most seemingly complicated issues have a very simple solution. I guess what stops us is pretty much our willingness to actually apply the solutions, or simply that our problems get muddled up in so much complication that we don’t even realize what the solution could even be.

Anyways, here it is:

A LOT of things can simply be fixed with giving each other space. Sometimes the most helpful thing is just to take a step back, stop thinking for a second and just removing yourself from the situation all together.. breathing usually helps too. It doesnt mean you love the person any less because youre walking away, it just means you need some time to get over it. Retrospectively, 7/10 times its something stupid anyways, so whats the point in making nothing into something? If your partner truly loves you and isnt some crazy ass bitch, they’ll get that you need some time, because chances are they probably need some time too.  

In the larger scale of things.. GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE. You have your own life, they probably have their own life.. Spending every waking moment together makes you irritated as hell at eachother, causes some dumb fight, and then repeat. Also, the biggest mistake that most people make is that you leave too many parts of yourself behind when youre in a relationship. Although I believe that love fundamentally changes you (afterall, how could it not), it shouldnt make you a total stranger to the people who were in your life long before said person came into your life. You need to take the time to do things apart from your relationship that make YOU happy. Spending time with your family and friends, and maintaining some kind of balance is a lot easier said than done, but it helps keep you grounded and happy.

Assumptions lead to a lot of disappointment. Overtime, we think that if someone loves us and knows us well enough, that they’ll know what we’re thinking and what we’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, love doesn’t make you a mindreader. Its important to say what you need to say, say what you feel, and listen to what the other person has to say.

Trust is the foundation to any relationship. Without it, everything ceases to function because paranoia will inevitably take its place. And no matter how much the ones we love try to assuage our unreasonable paranoia and doubts, trust cannot be built based on reassurance alone. Its pretty much up to you, and if you still cant find that trust, you may as well pack your bags.

Things change. The person you fell in love with isnt necessarily going to be that same person when all is said and done with. You can’t expect your entire relationship to be like how it was at the beginning where the romance swept you off your feet, the conversation lasted for hours and you couldnt keep your hands off of each other. Sometimes the person you love changes into someone you cant be in love with. When that happens, you cant expect the person they are to change back into the person you loved.

Okay.. thats all. I had a lot on my mind.